Kick-Arse Poetry by Dr. Lissa Judd  

 

The Parent-teacher Meeting 

Mum has bought a stripey hat.

I thinks she’s mad -

she looks a prat;

I sure hope that she won’t wear that

to the parent-teacher meeting.

 

My parents meet me at the school,

she’s worn the hat -

I feel a fool;

I sure hope Dad won’t lose his cool

at the parent-teacher meeting.

 

Every teacher that we see

agrees I’ve no

ability

or skill, as far as they can see,

at the parent-teacher meeting.

 

They say I don’t try hard enough

I just give up

when things get tough.

They tell my parents all this stuff

at the parent-teacher meeting.

 

I sit there trying not to care:

( the stripey hat -

my friends all stare ).

Opprobrium is all I hear

at the parent-teacher meeting.

My English teacher tells my dad

that I’m the worst

she’s ever had;

she said I’m just a naughty lad,

at the parent-teacher meeting.

 

But Dad said this was all a farce,

and she was not

a teacher’s arse.

This was heard by all my class,

at the parent-teacher meeting.

 

It’s kind of like this every year -

ignominy

abounds, I fear.

I wish that I could disappear

at the parent-teacher meeting.

 

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